I remember the day I spoke my dreams out loud. Tapped them out on keys and then hit publish. And there is always a moment when you give your dreams a voice that you wish you had just kept silent. There is always a time when you feel as if you will be laughed at, ridiculed, criticized because, let's face it, your dreams don't always feel like they measure up. They are not always about selling all your possessions and travelling clear across the world to be a missionary. They are not always about these monumental actions that thousands will read about, hear about and experience.
Sometimes our dreams quietly sneak up on us when we are least expecting them and it's not until they are whispered into existence that we even realize what they are. My biggest fear is that my dreams will somehow seem trite or trivial. Almost as if I don't have the right to dream them in the first place.
My biggest fear is that my dreams aren't good enough for God.
Crazy eh? And I know that this a lie, a bold faced, straight from the flames lie and yet... My head knows I serve a good God. It knows that I am cherished by Him, loved by Him. But my heart? Sometimes my heart and my head take different paths and getting them to end up on the same one is difficult. There are days where I struggle with my own value and worth and wonder whether or not I can ask these dreams of God.
And even as I write this, music playing, candle lit I can feel His presence here. His hands resting on my shoulders and I can feel His lips next to my ear and a whispered, "Dream girl, dream big. You can dream big because I am bigger still." And He is, He is bigger than anything that I whisper out loud. And my dreams they are an offering to God, cupped in open palms and offered up to Him as a sacrifice a returning to Him of what He has so lovingly bestowed upon me. And His word it challenges us and when he says "I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Let me prove it to you!" (Malachi 4:10 NLT). These dreams that beat inside my heart - they are His, they are His and they are worthy because they came from Him and it is only fitting that I return them to God.
And just this morning I read these words by Margaret Feinberg "Asking God to unleash his mercy and grace and goodness and love is like boldly looking into the eyes of God and saying, 'Surprise me!'" - Wonderstruck. And I felt those words settle over me like a cocoon and wrap me in the knowledge that God is waiting for me to enter into unfettered and uninhibited worship, declaring His wondrous works in my life. He is waiting for me to dream my dreams boldly, proclaiming His goodness and provision.
**Linking up with Holley Gerth today. Where we are dreaming dreams and conquering fears with truth**